Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
