he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
