how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize