I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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