Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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