If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
