This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
