Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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