like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
