So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
