I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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