My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
did i just pee glitter
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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