I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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