I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Your tits are I can't wait for
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
