You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
