Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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