bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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