Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
