She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
