Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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