I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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