I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
