I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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