I should be sponsored by Trojan
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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