Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
