Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
