Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
