i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
