Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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