Got a toothbrush?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
