WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish I could punch you in the face.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
