why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
