You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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