highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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