you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
