Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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