smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
