Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i drank out of a bidet.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The uberlube is also flammable
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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