Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
