we're blogging at a bar
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
