my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize