you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
