I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Your dad touched me again.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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