I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We are two peas in an std pod
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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