She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
