That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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