OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
