what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
