dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
