By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
