Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
