is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
