She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
