She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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