i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
