i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
