Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
