This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
