maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
