i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
