You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
