Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There are leaves in my underwear?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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