so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I take back everything I said about communal showers
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
