I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
