he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
