it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
