Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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