I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
