David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
