I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
