My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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